Musics Sick Joke

Making it slowly clear what it is
Unreal beliefs shadowed by fear
Some how gone in a mist of confusion
I guess i was wrapped up in the love illusion
Casting my pain a line of shame
Seemingly coming but going in vain
So tied up in your non emotion
I am unable to see the hurt of your ocean
Confined to an anchor of self motivation
Killing those who are left with the attention starvation
Justifying answers with questions of time
Over looking the fact that your time has now been revoked
Kindness for weakness was my down fall
Every things known in the unheard call

STORM

No periods at the ends of my sentences

Searching wildly for the lyrical images

I am the confusion in the back of your brain

Yelling at your subconscious while ripping out the subliminal text range

What ever it is that you think you've been thinking

Is primarily subjective to the quicksand in which you're sinking

Some how believing you're so close to your goal

But reaching could damage your physical and soul

For you see it's all mine and I'm just not giving

Unrealistically speaking this chore you've been living

I've seen in your eyes the hints of desire

By extinguishing those flames I know your heart will expire

I have no beginning and I see no end

You carried me so long like some secret sin

Such a shame you keep trying but I have no fear

For DOUBT is my name...

And you still won't make it this year

The Muse...

Pain is my muse
I use the abuse to further my cause
Writing the wrongs and expanding the rights
Establishing my place as an artist
Taking your root cause as a blessing
Not as a curse
Cursing you would be unjust
The God in me encourages you to prosper through it all
Knowing one day that we could fall...
I say could, but you say will
I try so hard but you expect us to fail
How does one compete with such a strong negative
I just pray that one day
My muse will exchange the pain and rain
For the love respect and adoration that we once knew
Causing a relationship that once was called healthy
Out of this thing that's screaming
Birthing a new love a new hope
Putting in place a God renewing
Gracing me with the ability to be... Me

And then there was two

I used to be the one and only
The one that stopped the show
Elegantly producing a tune so unique
But now the second fiddle

We had the time of our lives
I in hand your joy of life
The sounds, my tone, were all you'd hear
But now the second fiddle

It seeds to be an unbelief
A dream I was once dreaming
The lights the stage
The encore plays
But Alas now the second fiddle

Oh how nice to think about the things
The things that were once we
How you fingers strode
Playing songs of ode

Think I the second fiddle

Inside My MInd...

Eargasmicly speaking

My lyrics are missile seeking

Someones ear canal to collapse

Trying to imagine my thinking

Is a loss of minds creeping

While all my thoughts

Are now killing your attack

Its amazing the sensations

That are carried with exasperation

When you try to figure out who I are

But the meaning behind this

Is to find why I rhyme-spit

And inspire the senseless at mind

I love to...

I love to love
I love being in love
Without love I could live
But what would be living
Without the one I've come to know

For him I wear my heart on my sleeve
Doing almost anything to ensure his safety
The safety of his heart and of his character
What is a man but his character

It is safe to say that I love to love
The character that is my man

Contagious Measures

Eloquently capturing a side of my subconscious that is yet unknown
I try to hide my unexpected in my need to be alone
The fury that is fighting to escape my minds cell walls
Is chained to a steal frame of doubt
An uneasy feeling that I administer myself in high doses
Not sure of how I am but I know that I'm supposed to
Now this supposed to that's escaping is not yet evading the motes of unbelief
This love sustaining cupid reigning care of which i speak
Is meditating while its praying to elevate my speech
So now I just might seek and reach the world with a lucid tongue
Giving out this contagious knowledge we all call Opinion

by: Rachelle Reve`

So Amazing

Its amazing
I am still over joyed at the sights that I see
Overwhelmed at the thoughts of all you've given me

The warmth of the sun rising up in the morning
Enveloping my soul embracing my physiology
These feelings of love joy peace gentleness and goodness
Exhilarate me
There is no other kind of happy that I would rather be

I use my thanks my talent my gifts
All given by you to show you how grateful I truly am
Through my life you have blessed me
In my speech you bless me

So at the very least I can awake and praise
Telling you Lord that it is so amazing

Down to This

I love to spit fire and burn down your mind frame
Set flame to your house of thoughts while exposing your shame
This murder suicide is getting the best of me
I'm killing the mic and blasting the thoughts right out of me
Shame to blame the outside world for my psychotic rants
Knowing that its festering from a place that demands attention
Tying me down to a level you think I'm resting
Not believing that what your doing is just testing
Moving me from comfort and bliss
Exchanging all of my solitude for attitude and a Beretta spray of poetic mist

Justify not the words that I speak
The words I write, and regurgitate without melody
Understanding where my pain is found is finding the closet where nightmares come
Focused on the real outside of these pages
All the while you sit not knowing the truth to your mazes
Lying to yourself making lite of your disgust
Not knowing your road of worldly lust will lead to distrust

The mayhem my soul speaks gives life all new meaning
My present losses and certain movements are leading to self destruction
Plans to release all that comes to me through my eyes
Sabotaged by my own need for a self disguise
Depending on me in a state of weakness
Is a security breach that the national masses could be and should be afraid of
I look past my fear, shame, doubt, and unbelief
Making sure I commune directly with my soul underneath
Hoping these darts penetrate so deep
Piercing your ear canal with the blood of my speech
Invading your mind while displaying your feelings
So as not to hide all the truths your reveling
My love has been ruptured bleeding the words of my past
Moving this starvation feeling like a drought across this barren articulate land
So I'm pulling this trigger with nothing left to loose
Reading between your lines hoping now you will to...

Fear...

Resting my poetic soul
Restoring my poetic flow
I shall no longer entertain the masses
With pleasing words and phrases fantastic
Your talk is cheap like the cloth that's wrapped around your image
Stained tarnished used up and ragged
Opinions mean nothing when they come from the abyss
A place of nothing where you choose to sit
Depending on the time of day your hating on a schedule
Making your way down to places I go just to be heard
Seen by no one but you think you walk tall
Short like my patients with you no longer an acceptable nuisance
I wont roast or boast about whats mine and yours
Masses of word absences fill your pages
When I came along you were just cleaning the stages
I brought you out into the lime light
Showed you off to all like "Its my childes Night"
So ungrateful you try and blame me
The downfall of you was the result of your shame
Your self pity and selfish ways
Emotions run deep but my skill is fastened to my bones
Letting the good girl fool you is a mistake in its own
This venom I spit this poison is character
So stage fright get on cause this fear is unbearable

by: Rachelle Reve`

Remember When?

When I spoke you listened
It seemed
Blocking out all that surrounded you
Hanging on to every melodic syllable that crossed my lips

I was adored like a precious jewel
Kept safe from all harm and danger
But displayed for all to see
Decorating and magnifying the beauty within you

And the times we would touch
Those times were the greatest
I could feel the love in each kiss
The adoration in each brush of your fingertips

You knew every spot and curve to my body
Tracing each with the breath from your soul
How you could cross my eyes and dot my tees
Jumbling my words lost in you over whelming ecstasy

Our laughs, our smiles
All the tears that would shower...

I miss that from you
All those ways and things you would and could do
So much in fact that I wait
Not wanting to move or disturb your slumber

I just watch and hope that the clock will run out
The time that you need to find you
That you will see all you needed was in me
In us...

And how when I spoke you listened...

Blood Hero...

You are me, but yet not me
We were both formed in the same manner
An extension of the same two
Whose love has fashioned a unit known as us

You are strong, and yet still weak
I see the hurt you feel in the eyes like mine
Know you would die for us
Yet in still the fear is in you

You are my hero, and so to many others
I love you like the oceans and the seas
Knowing far away your still here
Yet I don't love enough to let you leave

You are my brother, and yet you are them
Fighting for our freedom and things we may not see
Inside my selfish screams to hide you still
But I know that God will bring you back alive and well

The strength of a man is in his character
Yours shines like a thousand suns for all to see
You may not know it but to me you are the greatest
A better man there will never be

My brother
My friend
My joker
My protector
My Blood Hero



(I love you more than you know K and I'm going to miss you like crazy please come home to us without harm or injury... this is my prayer for you. Ever one can say what they support and what they don't, but you have no idea when its your own flesh and blood out there in the middle of all that danger. In the midst of all that we are sheltered from and is desensitized by Hollywood. So you can say what you want but I don't want MY BLOOD to go...)

The Lord Gives....

The creativity He has given shines like a lite from within.
Exposing all who see it to a in site and glory that is known as a BLESSING...

The Truth is in the Lies

Do you love me?
Yes
What do you want?
You
All things I should hear
But in truth, the words are never spoken
The words you say are all wrapped up in fable
Giving false hopes to something that will never blossom
It's sad that I try and convince myself that I am
Although deep down I know that I am far from
A love that once was meant for me now given to self
Selfish disguised by selfless
I wait for the "it's not you it's me" speech
Thoughts of heading you off at the pass rush over me
Its almost like a child wanting love from a parent who's never there
Reaching onto a non-existing plain for a chance at being claimed
Losing me would mean nothing to you
So why am I so deeply in love with you
When I speak you never hear
Involved in your surroundings
Making up the answers that you give
Abuse without the blows
An emotional disconnection from a love that once rose
Still you say that you love me
You say that you want me
And I continue to hear the truth in the lies

What Truth Once Was...

What is in truth but a piece of lies told
How often shall we listen to distinct fabrications
The untruth plagues me
Invades me like a sickness
Blocking any side effects that well being left behind

My poetry is my motion
My drive my sanity
God gave me my poetry
Helping me to discern the truth from the lies

He keeps me sane with these words
These phrases
I pray he protects me from the wrongs
I pray he keeps us holding on to what once was
A belief in him alone driving us to a place in the unknown
All the while still held and adored
No lies no pain
Just truth unshaded in mans deception

True Growth

What is Fiction and what is non

The line in my reality is so blurred

My eyes try to adjust to the words we speak

Unable to be shielded from the smile that lights my skies

False hope fills my lungs like air

Only its corrupt to my body and fills me with a hateful seed

Not wanting more

Not needing less

Cemented to an infertile ground

Growth seems non compliant

My begging seems to fall on deaf ears

Causing death to enter into the garden that once flourished

I know the cost I pay at trying

Proceeding in an endeavour that no one else can see

Stepping out on faith and my Father that heal-ith thee

Casting my cares on him and not on doubt

Giving prayer my worries

Living life lite in pain

Shameful passing my feelings

I now lean on our gain

Prosperity seems the answer

though not always what is truth

I'm hoping you see the wealth in me

And invest in what you once thought to be closest to you

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

My Life Changing Event

I am not blind to the transparent actions

and hidden wishes of others...

My heart has no more room or time for the

self centered occupations of the all about me song

The I have been done wrong, hurt and now

I feel like I don't belong song

Hiding in plain sight I now know

what you were trying to hide from the light

Your unsure feelings of what life should be,

could be, or what they tell you it might be

Why lock me up in your box of insecurities

Photo framing me in a still life of what you wanted me to be

People change, you did mostly....

But some how you find it fair

to reposition what we were supposed to be

Experiencing love in darkness

when in the light is where it should be

What comfort is there in knowing you share nothing

with someone whom you once seemed almost identical to

In trying to hide what you felt

You showed it all in the physical self

All in touches and kisses

the caresses that just seemed to be lacking

in the "I love you more" department

Are all these things true?

Yes, no , and maybe

But try and figure it out

While you dwell on what will and wont fit

In your new lifestyle that's changing you...

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

So Far Behind You....

I live in the shadows
Unable to cope
Away from the suns rays
No heat to softly caress my skin
I long for the connection that used to be
The cold is so spine-chilling
My mind escapes to the place of past memories
I long for rain, for storms or winds
Contact of any to allow me to feel
Some sort of expression so I know I exist
I've stood in this cold for so very long
All the feelings once feeling all seem to be gone
Non compliant no nothing
Just standing, still standing, calm and quite
I wonder if I'm noticed
My screams no one can hear
Your shadow is overbearing
I fear our end is near...

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Soap Box

In this artistic bubble I am confined

Not able to push past my invisible barriers

Unmoving in my realistic goals of becoming

A model that is rolled for the masses of youth

Trapped by an unwavering thought process

Words and melodies

Beats and lyrics

All the same but changed by the sounds of your experiences

Forming a knowledge that is new yet still so common

You speak what is heard not really grasping the comments

I exchange my friends for pens and my past loves for arts reason

Explaining my place in this world through a poetic flow grounded in my God believing

Challenging my self expanding my mental to places unknown

Daring man to stand up and take a chance on being heard

Keeping the freedoms our forefathers thought we deserved

My daughter will always know peace and not struggle

For I will raise her up in this artistic bubble

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Majesticly Molded

This ttbuttafly is outstanding...

Majestic in every possible sense

Inspirational

Sensational

Cohabitants of the same set of mind

And since I am inspired by the one sent down robed in flesh

I know my steps are ordered in his speech

For it is now in his peace I am able to find rest

All that pain that man had tried to put upon me

Is now withdrawn holding nothing but my used to be's

That's okay, keep holding strong

Cause my God said those things are all long gone

So I said it once and I'll say it again

This ttbuttafly is outstanding...

Majestic in every possible sense

For now I fly free in the arms of his grace

No longer straggling behind, I'm now winning this race

You see now I've got strength, and a whole 'nother character

I've been redeemed by our worlds only editor

Inspirational

Sensational

Cohabitants of the same set of mind

He is changing my being one step at a time

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Myocardial Infraction

Full of injustice and so corrupt
You failed me daily
Pumping and feeding life into me
All the while exposing me to emotions

Rocky and painstaking
It seems to be torn apart
Life giving, love sinning
Signs of a painful heart

What was it that changed
That mixed your speeds
Skipping beats and rhythms
Remote-controlling me

All the selfless acts that I've partaken
Some how are blind to the roles that you're making
Staging acts as if you care
Embedding the feelings that you'll always be there

Not pain, No worries
Complicated at best
This emotional roller coaster
Requires a bullet-proof vest

Not from bullets
Or arrows, or painstaking blows
Just the words you use
That are piercing my loves soul

Such a small decision
Such large outcomes
Not sure about leaving
But you're already gone

Beat on beat maker
The metronome is still ticking
So loud in fact
You can't hear what I'm wishing

For now keep me alive
Work hard enough just to bleed
For the emotion you let in
Is slowly killing me


©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Stormy Seas

I wish I knew how to swim


But I can't


The waves rise so fast


Like the hate and fury of man




Choked, suffocating, no air


My mind races in panic


What is there to hold onto


Is there anything stable




In this sea of doubt


I struggle with the facts


The truth seems like a myth

I find myself sick from the sea

Regurgitating what is expected of me

Unable to hold down any real peace

Afloat in Pandora's box

Shut up inside with all that had once escaped

They always say after the storm it will be...

It will be what ?

Will it be what should be?

I slowly sink and struggle to stay afloat

Just waiting and waiting

Hoping for a tsunami to push me far ashore

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

You Limpin' Pimpin'

You’s a hustler man
I see you
Tall, Dark, and Handsome
You think you getting over
But Hun you don’t fool me
Strutin’ in that suite you got from the Bargain Man
It’s a shame that you act in such a manner
Trickin’ and Hoein’
Not to particular on what you
May or may not be doing to your own people
If He made them you would be a waste of Gods creations
Sad to be you
But you know that you cute
Cutting your eyes at our impressionable youth
Hustler?
Nah boo you just a chump
Wishing and hoping you get them bucks
That put you on that level of Mr. Up and Up…
Nope, not you, you will never be the man
Your mama wanted you to be
A should a could a would a hustling man
Is what you’ll aspire to be

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Words

My world is sketched
From pen and pad
My words are always scripted

The love of knowledge
Can be shown
The lite of stars still lifted

With heaven above
And my feet below
I'm rooted in my worship

This poetry
It seems to me
To be my whole existence

Each word, it beats
In tune with speech
It pours from me like ink

A soul survived from
grit and grim
Soiled by mans earthly deceit

Where would I be
Without my words

What would become of my mind
My sanity is wrapped in peace
Made of words I have yet to find

God has blessed me
Nurtured my gifts

Enhancing my language and skill
bringing light unto my depths

Exposing my true being
With out my poetry I could not be
My self would just be less


©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Truth Hurts

She was she

All that God had made her to be

Small yet so big

Fragile and Strong

So close to almost never being

Not knowing what was wrong

It was so close to perfect

You see I had a plan

The true girl interrupted

My plans had all escaped

Scared, afraid, all these things I was

I was selfishly motivated

To still only be one

But once I heard she's little heart

Once I first felt sick

The thought of She

And who she'll be

Took over expelling love

Now she's my heart, my soul

My love My all in all

That almost never was

No Longer A Victim

Oh how I loved you
There was nothing that I couldn't
Or wouldn't do for you

I guess you can say that I'm the fool
I believed you loved me back

For years I felt responsible
Like it was all my fault
What had I done to bring you to such anger

The fire in your eyes I saw
The things I put you through
No one could know my misery
No one could see my pain

I was cloaked in shame
Covered like the black that penetrates the night sky

My tears to me were like acid
Each time they scared my face
Showing to all what was hid underneath

Why couldn't they see?
Why was no one there to help me?

I tried to cry out
But I knew it was me
You wouldn't let me forget
All the times that you told me

Each blow was supposed to be the last
If I straightened up and acted right
No more talking back
No more leading us into fights

But now I know

I truly understand

It was you who was the problem
It was you who couldn't be a real man

The bruises that you gave
Are now shown through your expressions
Hiding no more your secret sins

With strength that came from
Him alone we now are finally done

Yes my scares are still there
But my pain has long pasted
I found comfort in his saving grace

A love you couldn't show
He ceased the acid that you once caused
Reaching my heart below


©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

For the Record

Liar and Back/2/you mister back talker pt2 are written for a friend who refuses to say what her heart wants to but her mind is so consumed with this man that she will stay even though she is unhappy... I say this because everyone deserves a voice everyone needs to be heard and acknowledged.... If you know in your heart he or she is not right let them go u deserve to be happy....

A Real Man

He is a real Man...

And he is who he is

His swagger is set on infinity

His limits have no end

He is who he is

And he is like no other

The one God created

molded and shaped

to be my lover

He is so much more

He is also my friend

Someone I can count on

until the very end

He is who he is

He is something like his music

Strong on the beats

Inspirational in his lyrics

A mystery unopened

Yet placed for all to see

Knowing his flaws

While still perfecting his vision

He keeps family close

For he knows where support is

What is a real Man?

Provider

Survivor

This Man

My Man

The Mate to my soul

You....

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Back/2/You- Mister Back-Talker pt. 2

Trying to understand

The ways of the common man

Yes i say common cause

You are just like the rest of them

So unsure

But sure to be clever

Stringing me along like

Your pet Pit or whatever

Whats the reality

Come on tell me whats good

Haven't i been there like a real women should

Haven't i fed you in more ways than one

Maybe i should hate you

And give you no love

It might be whats needed

Just a slight little shove

Cause that's how you do me

You push me right over

If you had a gun

I bet you would shoot me

For this to be over

That's how i feel now

Stop waiting and tell me

How is it possible to love one so much

Spend weeks away and not talk to them once

So i guess i know now that you were telling story's

I pegged you right as mister back-talkin Torey

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Liar

Oh mister back-talker
I see your game

I see how you tell me
But you don't tell them the same

Oh mister back-talker
Tell me why

How could It be so easy
To tell such lies

Oh mister back-talker
If that's your real name

Just what is your angle
What is there for you to gain

What can be trusted
From that sin that slides from your lips

Oh mister back-talker you talkin'
But your words are now dismissed

Yes it is true
I once fell for your game

Not any more
Our so called love is just a shame

So oh mister back-talker
There's no use for your stories

They can read it all here
Oh mister back-talkin' Torey

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Dear God,

What ever happens...will happen
The fight is no longer in me


I trust you to make me whole
Completing me in ways that no mortal man can

I will no longer strive to make others happy
For you are the only one to impress

Purifying my life and mind
I release to you all my distress

In you I find peace
A comfort like no other

Transforming my life
And changing my person


Illuminate the depths of my soul
Make me like you

For my heart is now open
Open to what will be

Open to what will come
And how I will be in you

Dear God thank you
For granting me wisdom

So that I can correctly
handle situations

For you are great
And mighty in all things

Still growing in you
Your Child,

Rachelle Reve`


©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

A Silent Prayer

Imagine the feeling of being crowded when your all alone
The pressures of knowing that home is only you and no one else will show

Imagine taking on all my pains
Do you think you could handle my guilt's... my shames

The weak will not endure, Only the strong will survive
Words I speak to me just to keep myself alive

Mending a heart to let it be broken again,
A curse that's placed upon me

Knowing God is my victory,
But how could he let this happen to me
How could he let such things consume me

Overwhelming, over-powering, the over-bearing
My release is words, an outlet of emotion

Each scrambling to find its own place on the page
Just as I am to find mine

Torture, Oh torture!
What have I done to deserve you
What must I do to relieve myself of your wretched ways

Stress and Prayer combined is no sanctuary
Thru tears and agony my heart manages to beat on

I press on another day
Wanting, needing, a light to guide my way

God grant me peace
Save me from myself and the unfortunate task
Of being me....


©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Solitude...

I love watching the Sun Set

Its my favorite time of day

The way the Sun leaves behind its days Ora

The golds and blues melt across the horizon

Like a visual music that goes on forever,

Spilling over and mixing into the imagination like watercolors

Its as if my Master and Creator has reached down and kissed the world goodnight

A love so deep, so pure it's hung in the skies for all to see

My special place... My special time... Just me...

I love watching the Sun Set...

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Who Am I

The sun rises over the horizon

Slowly, Majestically

Giving Birth to a whole new realm of chance

Unpredictable the day drags on

Allowing no insight into what it holds

A desire to grasp at the strands of the unexpected over whelms

Pushing into a sea of what could be
Waves of should haves and could haves

Beat down like the warmth of the mid-day skies

Compelling us to finish the hours that lay ahead

Possibility is my name

Maybe is the all that I have to gain

The only thing that is sure to come

Is the setting of the sun that was

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Behind My Name .... The Real Me...

The only potential weakness in these names is their tendency to being a little too emotional. If their energies and time are spent in cultivating their artistic talents then their beauty will shine. These people radiate love from their eyes. They respond to kindness with warmth and gratitude. Giving to others is their natural way. Their hearts respond with compassion whenever they see suffering. They are meant to administer to the needy and to inspire people with their love. This can be done either through the medium of music or through some humanitarian endeavor. If they lack direction or self-discipline then their lives can be difficult. In that case the emotion builds up as a craving for love and sex accompanied by feelings of self-pity. From an early age they desire to perform some meaningful work. They cannot do mundane or mediocre work without suffering. This is both an intelligent and idealistic quality that is strongly motivated by a humanitarian urge.
They are inspired when they are motivating others through their love, and terribly depressed when there is no meaning to their work. In the performing arts they can move people to tears because of the depth of their emotion, and their own tears flow quickly when faced with the suffering of animals, people or situations where there is a loss of love. They are very responsible and take seriously all their commitments. As caregivers they excel. Their love has a sincerity to it that is healing in itself. They feel our problems or sickness and their sympathy is genuine. Their challenge is not merely to be sympathetic but to help through wisdom, or suffer the consequences of being drawn into and influenced by others' problems. Their compassion is the ultimate human sentiment and must be directed by their intelligence. As teachers they could be inspired if they knew that the spoken word releases the greatest power of all when it is empowered by compassion and the wisdom of life.
Their difficulty lies in not being able to cut through the problematic areas of those they are helping, and not being able to distinguish between sympathy to the problem, and sympathy with the soul of another individual. It is hard not to fall in love with these people because they are so loving. Love is their greatest asset as well as their greatest liability. If there is not sufficient balance in the rest of their names they tend to live for love rather than love to live and give. It is in their giving that they discover the true essence of love. If they have not realized this then they are forever seeking a lover to satisfy a spiritual impulse. When they have discovered the universality of love they will never again suffer the loss of it or the insatiable craving for it. It is a matter of perspective. These people have a great potential for creativity and accomplishment because of their confidence and strong responsible natures, that is, if it is directed toward meaningful pursuits. Otherwise they can become complainers and worry over trifles. A constant fear of loss and self-pity can lead to nervous exhaustion and breakdown.

Ode To A Lover's Sake..

What causes failure? Can what ever caused you to fail be used to cause you to achieve and be successful??????

Does being in love make you foolish? Why can't we just have everything we want out of life, love, and happiness?

Love and happiness are not the same, when you fight with the one you love you are never happy about it. It's only after your storm (fight) that you see more of the person you love, the reason you love them....

But what if you are in love with someone who said the same when you said "I am truly in love with you".... but now your not quit sure that they meant it ... being in love with someone is more than saying you love them. It's fighting and pushing past all the negative things that come to stop your love from flourishing, and saying that I want and need to be with you so much for my soul sake. Come on winds blow, come on lightning and thunder do your worse because I'm strong enough to stand. I have a strength that was given by God to love another and to stay in love with another.

You should be able to say "she is mine and I am hers" or "he is mine and I am his"


©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

What If...

What if I couldn't ?

What if I could ?

What if I almost made it ?

What if I pushed through ?

What was the damage done ?

What was my could have been ?

How can I make it right ?

How can I help us win ?

Maybe its a little to late...

Maybe it cant be done...

I pray past all mistakes...

I pray us to see another sun...

Maybe I just messed up ?

Maybe I've lost the one ?

How can I get back to you ?

How long till our fight is won ?

What is it we need make it ?

What is left of all reason ?

What if I didn't run ?

What if I changed me ?
What if he made us one ?

What if there was more to see ?

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

How do you get over????

I need to talk to someone but no one is up, so I blog. Tonight (last night) @ small group they were talking about getting over your past, and the help that you need to concur it. There is no way to talk about the things no one wants to talk about. There's no way to mention the something when 'you' can't even talk about it...

There are some things in my past that have happened that I thought I was over, but apparently I'm not. They said use your testimony to help others, but I can't even think about it privately much less talk to someone about it. I pray for guidance and I pray for some kind of understanding. I thought blogging would help but I guess when I can get it out this will be worth something. Until then I guess I have no choice but to hold it in....

Dis-Ease

Its wide spread

Eats at you like a cancer

Taking what ever is in its path

Some how slowly devouring

Pulling at your life force from deep with-in

Burning away all that makes you you

Kind is not often used to describe

More of a pain that won't subside

The Boiling rising from a place you can not find

Strange how pain can cause pleasure

And pleasure cause such pain

Wanting to much but nothing to gain

Needing a cure

but desiring a fix

This thing called "Love" is bound to make us sick...

??????

Deep like the ocean
Wide like the sea

My thought process is flooded like the streets of New Orleans
In distress i found my rest in the arms of my King
Tears stream my face at the lost of the human race
As we find it hard to care unless tragedy is spiting in our face

Shallow like a stream
But rapid like a water fall

My emotions change with every waking step I take
Bound by society and changed by realism
Pacing my heart to the rhythm of earth
Dying slowly as people are only worried about self and wealth

Deep like the ocean
wide like the sea

Worried about us as a people
And where WE will be...

FAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why Why Why would any one want to be famous?

I mean besides the money of course, but really why when so many people are in your business. I just left the E! site and its a shame how much nonsense is on there.

Did John Mayer break up Jessica Simpson and the other guy, by text-ing her?
Jon Gosselin has a romantic getaway with nu boo!
Michael Jackson's family blames the Dr.

SO WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!

First off to the King of Pop may you RIP, and to all that are still trying to dig into his life and business you need to get business of your own.....

That's what I mean right there the man died and still he is in the press getting his memory dragged through the mud by people who want to make a quick buck. It sucks to his family and his true fans because it pains us to see what these vultures are trying to reduce his life to.

Fame is it really worth it in the end.....
no privacy, no one really respects you(depending on who u r)
Yes I admit it looks like fun and games but really who are you kidding, when you and your kids get joint rehab deals and u drink so much that you have no choice but to get a driver.

Admittedly if i could have the money with the privacy I would want the fame. Matter of fact it might b possible. Alicia Keys did an interview and said that there are spots that they go to if they want to be seen by the paparazzi. She said there are those that cling to the light like moths to a flame, and those who are able to dodge every camera they see(she did say but in words along those lines).

Fame is possible if you follow the rules of the ones who come out when necessary, and avoid getting their trash picked threw.

So I guess you can have the cake and eat it too.......

So much Pain

There are no words to say how one feels when they know that their parents are in a situation that might not be fixable. These past few years have been one thing after another both of my parents have had a form of cancer and by Gods grace are in remission. I guess surviving is the best, however how is it that we expect people to move on from something so tragic and our country has sucked them dry of any finaces that they have in order to pay a system that is overpaid and uncaring of the people that they are supposed to be helping. Families that go through this know what I mean when I say that insurance is a joke....

They pay for, in these situations, small amounts and expect people to be able to afford to spend thousands of dollars to make themselves well enough to go back to the hussle of our lives and find a way to juggle the remaining dollars into a miricale amount to pay utilities, morgate, car-notes, and not to mention the insurance that failed to seriously help so they will be able to go back to the doctor just in case they relapse....

I just needed to get a little bit of anger off of my chest so i wont be so resentful towards the field that i love because it is not them per-say it is the insurance companies that drain us dry for absolutely no reason but to keep us in the countries profitable debt system.

Don't get me wrong our hospitals help millions of people, and i am so very very grateful to the Dr.s that saved my mother and fathers lives.... Its just for once I think we should follow the Canadians and adopt their health care system. They are not the only ones either there is the French, the UK, hell even the Cubans....

If you have not seen Sicko i suggest you take a gander.......

First Thought

The first thing that comes to mind is to let it all out...
but, I realize that to do so would jeopardize this blog-spot and shut off any sort of response to my written expressions.

I am what is to be considered a good natured person. I believe in a lot, and for the fist time I am willing to say a lot. I have never been the one to stand up at a public forum, however this is a little more acceptable seeing as how I am not standing in a sea of prying eyes.

Why is it that we.....
Why is it that we as a society are stricken with poverty, not a lack in financial status but a loss of self. We are all loosing in the battle of self-worth, if we were to try a little harder to care for others than to worry so much about what we can get for stepping on the other person that wants to succeed with us, our society wouldn't be in the situation that it is in now. Turning your back on family and friends just to make a name for yourself is running close on self mutilation. People are so unhappy with what they have that they are always looking around the corner for the next best thing. The only thing is you don't realize that what you have could be ten times greater than what someone else has. If you always look for something better you will always be looking. Am I saying don't be successful? NO of course not everyone needs to prosper and be able to provide for their families. What I am saying is there is more than enough to go around. If you alienate everyone that truly cares for you and your well being you will end up miserable. Do you have to be humanitarian of the year? No again, but does it really hurt to be positive in all that you do, and to lend a helping hand when needed? My father told me that in the times of the Civil Rights movement African Americans helped each other so that they would all be a success. They were all on each others albums and works because they were unable to get the well off whites to help with what they needed. The point is if we all help to lift each other up instead of tear each other down our society can move forward.

Remember its not what you say you can do, but what you actually do. Don't let you destroy the possibility of an even greater you.

What does it profit a man to gain the world and lose his soul...