How do you get over????

I need to talk to someone but no one is up, so I blog. Tonight (last night) @ small group they were talking about getting over your past, and the help that you need to concur it. There is no way to talk about the things no one wants to talk about. There's no way to mention the something when 'you' can't even talk about it...

There are some things in my past that have happened that I thought I was over, but apparently I'm not. They said use your testimony to help others, but I can't even think about it privately much less talk to someone about it. I pray for guidance and I pray for some kind of understanding. I thought blogging would help but I guess when I can get it out this will be worth something. Until then I guess I have no choice but to hold it in....

Dis-Ease

Its wide spread

Eats at you like a cancer

Taking what ever is in its path

Some how slowly devouring

Pulling at your life force from deep with-in

Burning away all that makes you you

Kind is not often used to describe

More of a pain that won't subside

The Boiling rising from a place you can not find

Strange how pain can cause pleasure

And pleasure cause such pain

Wanting to much but nothing to gain

Needing a cure

but desiring a fix

This thing called "Love" is bound to make us sick...

??????

Deep like the ocean
Wide like the sea

My thought process is flooded like the streets of New Orleans
In distress i found my rest in the arms of my King
Tears stream my face at the lost of the human race
As we find it hard to care unless tragedy is spiting in our face

Shallow like a stream
But rapid like a water fall

My emotions change with every waking step I take
Bound by society and changed by realism
Pacing my heart to the rhythm of earth
Dying slowly as people are only worried about self and wealth

Deep like the ocean
wide like the sea

Worried about us as a people
And where WE will be...

FAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why Why Why would any one want to be famous?

I mean besides the money of course, but really why when so many people are in your business. I just left the E! site and its a shame how much nonsense is on there.

Did John Mayer break up Jessica Simpson and the other guy, by text-ing her?
Jon Gosselin has a romantic getaway with nu boo!
Michael Jackson's family blames the Dr.

SO WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!

First off to the King of Pop may you RIP, and to all that are still trying to dig into his life and business you need to get business of your own.....

That's what I mean right there the man died and still he is in the press getting his memory dragged through the mud by people who want to make a quick buck. It sucks to his family and his true fans because it pains us to see what these vultures are trying to reduce his life to.

Fame is it really worth it in the end.....
no privacy, no one really respects you(depending on who u r)
Yes I admit it looks like fun and games but really who are you kidding, when you and your kids get joint rehab deals and u drink so much that you have no choice but to get a driver.

Admittedly if i could have the money with the privacy I would want the fame. Matter of fact it might b possible. Alicia Keys did an interview and said that there are spots that they go to if they want to be seen by the paparazzi. She said there are those that cling to the light like moths to a flame, and those who are able to dodge every camera they see(she did say but in words along those lines).

Fame is possible if you follow the rules of the ones who come out when necessary, and avoid getting their trash picked threw.

So I guess you can have the cake and eat it too.......

So much Pain

There are no words to say how one feels when they know that their parents are in a situation that might not be fixable. These past few years have been one thing after another both of my parents have had a form of cancer and by Gods grace are in remission. I guess surviving is the best, however how is it that we expect people to move on from something so tragic and our country has sucked them dry of any finaces that they have in order to pay a system that is overpaid and uncaring of the people that they are supposed to be helping. Families that go through this know what I mean when I say that insurance is a joke....

They pay for, in these situations, small amounts and expect people to be able to afford to spend thousands of dollars to make themselves well enough to go back to the hussle of our lives and find a way to juggle the remaining dollars into a miricale amount to pay utilities, morgate, car-notes, and not to mention the insurance that failed to seriously help so they will be able to go back to the doctor just in case they relapse....

I just needed to get a little bit of anger off of my chest so i wont be so resentful towards the field that i love because it is not them per-say it is the insurance companies that drain us dry for absolutely no reason but to keep us in the countries profitable debt system.

Don't get me wrong our hospitals help millions of people, and i am so very very grateful to the Dr.s that saved my mother and fathers lives.... Its just for once I think we should follow the Canadians and adopt their health care system. They are not the only ones either there is the French, the UK, hell even the Cubans....

If you have not seen Sicko i suggest you take a gander.......

First Thought

The first thing that comes to mind is to let it all out...
but, I realize that to do so would jeopardize this blog-spot and shut off any sort of response to my written expressions.

I am what is to be considered a good natured person. I believe in a lot, and for the fist time I am willing to say a lot. I have never been the one to stand up at a public forum, however this is a little more acceptable seeing as how I am not standing in a sea of prying eyes.

Why is it that we.....
Why is it that we as a society are stricken with poverty, not a lack in financial status but a loss of self. We are all loosing in the battle of self-worth, if we were to try a little harder to care for others than to worry so much about what we can get for stepping on the other person that wants to succeed with us, our society wouldn't be in the situation that it is in now. Turning your back on family and friends just to make a name for yourself is running close on self mutilation. People are so unhappy with what they have that they are always looking around the corner for the next best thing. The only thing is you don't realize that what you have could be ten times greater than what someone else has. If you always look for something better you will always be looking. Am I saying don't be successful? NO of course not everyone needs to prosper and be able to provide for their families. What I am saying is there is more than enough to go around. If you alienate everyone that truly cares for you and your well being you will end up miserable. Do you have to be humanitarian of the year? No again, but does it really hurt to be positive in all that you do, and to lend a helping hand when needed? My father told me that in the times of the Civil Rights movement African Americans helped each other so that they would all be a success. They were all on each others albums and works because they were unable to get the well off whites to help with what they needed. The point is if we all help to lift each other up instead of tear each other down our society can move forward.

Remember its not what you say you can do, but what you actually do. Don't let you destroy the possibility of an even greater you.

What does it profit a man to gain the world and lose his soul...