My Life Changing Event

I am not blind to the transparent actions

and hidden wishes of others...

My heart has no more room or time for the

self centered occupations of the all about me song

The I have been done wrong, hurt and now

I feel like I don't belong song

Hiding in plain sight I now know

what you were trying to hide from the light

Your unsure feelings of what life should be,

could be, or what they tell you it might be

Why lock me up in your box of insecurities

Photo framing me in a still life of what you wanted me to be

People change, you did mostly....

But some how you find it fair

to reposition what we were supposed to be

Experiencing love in darkness

when in the light is where it should be

What comfort is there in knowing you share nothing

with someone whom you once seemed almost identical to

In trying to hide what you felt

You showed it all in the physical self

All in touches and kisses

the caresses that just seemed to be lacking

in the "I love you more" department

Are all these things true?

Yes, no , and maybe

But try and figure it out

While you dwell on what will and wont fit

In your new lifestyle that's changing you...

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

So Far Behind You....

I live in the shadows
Unable to cope
Away from the suns rays
No heat to softly caress my skin
I long for the connection that used to be
The cold is so spine-chilling
My mind escapes to the place of past memories
I long for rain, for storms or winds
Contact of any to allow me to feel
Some sort of expression so I know I exist
I've stood in this cold for so very long
All the feelings once feeling all seem to be gone
Non compliant no nothing
Just standing, still standing, calm and quite
I wonder if I'm noticed
My screams no one can hear
Your shadow is overbearing
I fear our end is near...

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Soap Box

In this artistic bubble I am confined

Not able to push past my invisible barriers

Unmoving in my realistic goals of becoming

A model that is rolled for the masses of youth

Trapped by an unwavering thought process

Words and melodies

Beats and lyrics

All the same but changed by the sounds of your experiences

Forming a knowledge that is new yet still so common

You speak what is heard not really grasping the comments

I exchange my friends for pens and my past loves for arts reason

Explaining my place in this world through a poetic flow grounded in my God believing

Challenging my self expanding my mental to places unknown

Daring man to stand up and take a chance on being heard

Keeping the freedoms our forefathers thought we deserved

My daughter will always know peace and not struggle

For I will raise her up in this artistic bubble

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Majesticly Molded

This ttbuttafly is outstanding...

Majestic in every possible sense

Inspirational

Sensational

Cohabitants of the same set of mind

And since I am inspired by the one sent down robed in flesh

I know my steps are ordered in his speech

For it is now in his peace I am able to find rest

All that pain that man had tried to put upon me

Is now withdrawn holding nothing but my used to be's

That's okay, keep holding strong

Cause my God said those things are all long gone

So I said it once and I'll say it again

This ttbuttafly is outstanding...

Majestic in every possible sense

For now I fly free in the arms of his grace

No longer straggling behind, I'm now winning this race

You see now I've got strength, and a whole 'nother character

I've been redeemed by our worlds only editor

Inspirational

Sensational

Cohabitants of the same set of mind

He is changing my being one step at a time

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Myocardial Infraction

Full of injustice and so corrupt
You failed me daily
Pumping and feeding life into me
All the while exposing me to emotions

Rocky and painstaking
It seems to be torn apart
Life giving, love sinning
Signs of a painful heart

What was it that changed
That mixed your speeds
Skipping beats and rhythms
Remote-controlling me

All the selfless acts that I've partaken
Some how are blind to the roles that you're making
Staging acts as if you care
Embedding the feelings that you'll always be there

Not pain, No worries
Complicated at best
This emotional roller coaster
Requires a bullet-proof vest

Not from bullets
Or arrows, or painstaking blows
Just the words you use
That are piercing my loves soul

Such a small decision
Such large outcomes
Not sure about leaving
But you're already gone

Beat on beat maker
The metronome is still ticking
So loud in fact
You can't hear what I'm wishing

For now keep me alive
Work hard enough just to bleed
For the emotion you let in
Is slowly killing me


©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Stormy Seas

I wish I knew how to swim


But I can't


The waves rise so fast


Like the hate and fury of man




Choked, suffocating, no air


My mind races in panic


What is there to hold onto


Is there anything stable




In this sea of doubt


I struggle with the facts


The truth seems like a myth

I find myself sick from the sea

Regurgitating what is expected of me

Unable to hold down any real peace

Afloat in Pandora's box

Shut up inside with all that had once escaped

They always say after the storm it will be...

It will be what ?

Will it be what should be?

I slowly sink and struggle to stay afloat

Just waiting and waiting

Hoping for a tsunami to push me far ashore

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

You Limpin' Pimpin'

You’s a hustler man
I see you
Tall, Dark, and Handsome
You think you getting over
But Hun you don’t fool me
Strutin’ in that suite you got from the Bargain Man
It’s a shame that you act in such a manner
Trickin’ and Hoein’
Not to particular on what you
May or may not be doing to your own people
If He made them you would be a waste of Gods creations
Sad to be you
But you know that you cute
Cutting your eyes at our impressionable youth
Hustler?
Nah boo you just a chump
Wishing and hoping you get them bucks
That put you on that level of Mr. Up and Up…
Nope, not you, you will never be the man
Your mama wanted you to be
A should a could a would a hustling man
Is what you’ll aspire to be

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Words

My world is sketched
From pen and pad
My words are always scripted

The love of knowledge
Can be shown
The lite of stars still lifted

With heaven above
And my feet below
I'm rooted in my worship

This poetry
It seems to me
To be my whole existence

Each word, it beats
In tune with speech
It pours from me like ink

A soul survived from
grit and grim
Soiled by mans earthly deceit

Where would I be
Without my words

What would become of my mind
My sanity is wrapped in peace
Made of words I have yet to find

God has blessed me
Nurtured my gifts

Enhancing my language and skill
bringing light unto my depths

Exposing my true being
With out my poetry I could not be
My self would just be less


©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Truth Hurts

She was she

All that God had made her to be

Small yet so big

Fragile and Strong

So close to almost never being

Not knowing what was wrong

It was so close to perfect

You see I had a plan

The true girl interrupted

My plans had all escaped

Scared, afraid, all these things I was

I was selfishly motivated

To still only be one

But once I heard she's little heart

Once I first felt sick

The thought of She

And who she'll be

Took over expelling love

Now she's my heart, my soul

My love My all in all

That almost never was

No Longer A Victim

Oh how I loved you
There was nothing that I couldn't
Or wouldn't do for you

I guess you can say that I'm the fool
I believed you loved me back

For years I felt responsible
Like it was all my fault
What had I done to bring you to such anger

The fire in your eyes I saw
The things I put you through
No one could know my misery
No one could see my pain

I was cloaked in shame
Covered like the black that penetrates the night sky

My tears to me were like acid
Each time they scared my face
Showing to all what was hid underneath

Why couldn't they see?
Why was no one there to help me?

I tried to cry out
But I knew it was me
You wouldn't let me forget
All the times that you told me

Each blow was supposed to be the last
If I straightened up and acted right
No more talking back
No more leading us into fights

But now I know

I truly understand

It was you who was the problem
It was you who couldn't be a real man

The bruises that you gave
Are now shown through your expressions
Hiding no more your secret sins

With strength that came from
Him alone we now are finally done

Yes my scares are still there
But my pain has long pasted
I found comfort in his saving grace

A love you couldn't show
He ceased the acid that you once caused
Reaching my heart below


©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

For the Record

Liar and Back/2/you mister back talker pt2 are written for a friend who refuses to say what her heart wants to but her mind is so consumed with this man that she will stay even though she is unhappy... I say this because everyone deserves a voice everyone needs to be heard and acknowledged.... If you know in your heart he or she is not right let them go u deserve to be happy....

A Real Man

He is a real Man...

And he is who he is

His swagger is set on infinity

His limits have no end

He is who he is

And he is like no other

The one God created

molded and shaped

to be my lover

He is so much more

He is also my friend

Someone I can count on

until the very end

He is who he is

He is something like his music

Strong on the beats

Inspirational in his lyrics

A mystery unopened

Yet placed for all to see

Knowing his flaws

While still perfecting his vision

He keeps family close

For he knows where support is

What is a real Man?

Provider

Survivor

This Man

My Man

The Mate to my soul

You....

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Back/2/You- Mister Back-Talker pt. 2

Trying to understand

The ways of the common man

Yes i say common cause

You are just like the rest of them

So unsure

But sure to be clever

Stringing me along like

Your pet Pit or whatever

Whats the reality

Come on tell me whats good

Haven't i been there like a real women should

Haven't i fed you in more ways than one

Maybe i should hate you

And give you no love

It might be whats needed

Just a slight little shove

Cause that's how you do me

You push me right over

If you had a gun

I bet you would shoot me

For this to be over

That's how i feel now

Stop waiting and tell me

How is it possible to love one so much

Spend weeks away and not talk to them once

So i guess i know now that you were telling story's

I pegged you right as mister back-talkin Torey

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Liar

Oh mister back-talker
I see your game

I see how you tell me
But you don't tell them the same

Oh mister back-talker
Tell me why

How could It be so easy
To tell such lies

Oh mister back-talker
If that's your real name

Just what is your angle
What is there for you to gain

What can be trusted
From that sin that slides from your lips

Oh mister back-talker you talkin'
But your words are now dismissed

Yes it is true
I once fell for your game

Not any more
Our so called love is just a shame

So oh mister back-talker
There's no use for your stories

They can read it all here
Oh mister back-talkin' Torey

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Dear God,

What ever happens...will happen
The fight is no longer in me


I trust you to make me whole
Completing me in ways that no mortal man can

I will no longer strive to make others happy
For you are the only one to impress

Purifying my life and mind
I release to you all my distress

In you I find peace
A comfort like no other

Transforming my life
And changing my person


Illuminate the depths of my soul
Make me like you

For my heart is now open
Open to what will be

Open to what will come
And how I will be in you

Dear God thank you
For granting me wisdom

So that I can correctly
handle situations

For you are great
And mighty in all things

Still growing in you
Your Child,

Rachelle Reve`


©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

A Silent Prayer

Imagine the feeling of being crowded when your all alone
The pressures of knowing that home is only you and no one else will show

Imagine taking on all my pains
Do you think you could handle my guilt's... my shames

The weak will not endure, Only the strong will survive
Words I speak to me just to keep myself alive

Mending a heart to let it be broken again,
A curse that's placed upon me

Knowing God is my victory,
But how could he let this happen to me
How could he let such things consume me

Overwhelming, over-powering, the over-bearing
My release is words, an outlet of emotion

Each scrambling to find its own place on the page
Just as I am to find mine

Torture, Oh torture!
What have I done to deserve you
What must I do to relieve myself of your wretched ways

Stress and Prayer combined is no sanctuary
Thru tears and agony my heart manages to beat on

I press on another day
Wanting, needing, a light to guide my way

God grant me peace
Save me from myself and the unfortunate task
Of being me....


©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Solitude...

I love watching the Sun Set

Its my favorite time of day

The way the Sun leaves behind its days Ora

The golds and blues melt across the horizon

Like a visual music that goes on forever,

Spilling over and mixing into the imagination like watercolors

Its as if my Master and Creator has reached down and kissed the world goodnight

A love so deep, so pure it's hung in the skies for all to see

My special place... My special time... Just me...

I love watching the Sun Set...

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Who Am I

The sun rises over the horizon

Slowly, Majestically

Giving Birth to a whole new realm of chance

Unpredictable the day drags on

Allowing no insight into what it holds

A desire to grasp at the strands of the unexpected over whelms

Pushing into a sea of what could be
Waves of should haves and could haves

Beat down like the warmth of the mid-day skies

Compelling us to finish the hours that lay ahead

Possibility is my name

Maybe is the all that I have to gain

The only thing that is sure to come

Is the setting of the sun that was

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

Behind My Name .... The Real Me...

The only potential weakness in these names is their tendency to being a little too emotional. If their energies and time are spent in cultivating their artistic talents then their beauty will shine. These people radiate love from their eyes. They respond to kindness with warmth and gratitude. Giving to others is their natural way. Their hearts respond with compassion whenever they see suffering. They are meant to administer to the needy and to inspire people with their love. This can be done either through the medium of music or through some humanitarian endeavor. If they lack direction or self-discipline then their lives can be difficult. In that case the emotion builds up as a craving for love and sex accompanied by feelings of self-pity. From an early age they desire to perform some meaningful work. They cannot do mundane or mediocre work without suffering. This is both an intelligent and idealistic quality that is strongly motivated by a humanitarian urge.
They are inspired when they are motivating others through their love, and terribly depressed when there is no meaning to their work. In the performing arts they can move people to tears because of the depth of their emotion, and their own tears flow quickly when faced with the suffering of animals, people or situations where there is a loss of love. They are very responsible and take seriously all their commitments. As caregivers they excel. Their love has a sincerity to it that is healing in itself. They feel our problems or sickness and their sympathy is genuine. Their challenge is not merely to be sympathetic but to help through wisdom, or suffer the consequences of being drawn into and influenced by others' problems. Their compassion is the ultimate human sentiment and must be directed by their intelligence. As teachers they could be inspired if they knew that the spoken word releases the greatest power of all when it is empowered by compassion and the wisdom of life.
Their difficulty lies in not being able to cut through the problematic areas of those they are helping, and not being able to distinguish between sympathy to the problem, and sympathy with the soul of another individual. It is hard not to fall in love with these people because they are so loving. Love is their greatest asset as well as their greatest liability. If there is not sufficient balance in the rest of their names they tend to live for love rather than love to live and give. It is in their giving that they discover the true essence of love. If they have not realized this then they are forever seeking a lover to satisfy a spiritual impulse. When they have discovered the universality of love they will never again suffer the loss of it or the insatiable craving for it. It is a matter of perspective. These people have a great potential for creativity and accomplishment because of their confidence and strong responsible natures, that is, if it is directed toward meaningful pursuits. Otherwise they can become complainers and worry over trifles. A constant fear of loss and self-pity can lead to nervous exhaustion and breakdown.

Ode To A Lover's Sake..

What causes failure? Can what ever caused you to fail be used to cause you to achieve and be successful??????

Does being in love make you foolish? Why can't we just have everything we want out of life, love, and happiness?

Love and happiness are not the same, when you fight with the one you love you are never happy about it. It's only after your storm (fight) that you see more of the person you love, the reason you love them....

But what if you are in love with someone who said the same when you said "I am truly in love with you".... but now your not quit sure that they meant it ... being in love with someone is more than saying you love them. It's fighting and pushing past all the negative things that come to stop your love from flourishing, and saying that I want and need to be with you so much for my soul sake. Come on winds blow, come on lightning and thunder do your worse because I'm strong enough to stand. I have a strength that was given by God to love another and to stay in love with another.

You should be able to say "she is mine and I am hers" or "he is mine and I am his"


©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)

What If...

What if I couldn't ?

What if I could ?

What if I almost made it ?

What if I pushed through ?

What was the damage done ?

What was my could have been ?

How can I make it right ?

How can I help us win ?

Maybe its a little to late...

Maybe it cant be done...

I pray past all mistakes...

I pray us to see another sun...

Maybe I just messed up ?

Maybe I've lost the one ?

How can I get back to you ?

How long till our fight is won ?

What is it we need make it ?

What is left of all reason ?

What if I didn't run ?

What if I changed me ?
What if he made us one ?

What if there was more to see ?

©2009 Erica Harrell (Rachelle Reve`)